living up a memory

once I thought,
I'm strong enough
to face all de reality
to face u once again
after all de pains
so I made a U-turn
doing sthg I used to
though it is no longer 4 u
indirectly, u r still involved
that was when
all my courage shattered
I tried to control my emotions
but I failed
I realised
I'm nt prepared, just yet
what I've been longing for yrs
is now infront of me
I'm confused
I tried to act calm
but that killer smile keep shooting me
I'm lost
all de memories appeared
flashing back 1 after another
dancing in my mind

why I cudnt forget u completely? It has been a very long journey, I have been taking 4-yrs to get rid of u frm my life but whenever I'm almost succeed, u appeared. it happened again, just.
why are u still nice to me after all dis? why u r still de same old u?
OMG !!!
I know u didnt mean to haunt me but by appearing again & again, but it makes me so hard 2 forget u. I wish I could turn back de time, edited de storyline, how nice it would be. but I'm a lil too late, I dont think there is a way for me 2 rule ur heart once again. we are leading our own lives & shouldering our own commitments.

anyway, I appreciate all de kindness u offered & thanks for bein a good & caring fren. we r nt fated to be a pair of lover but we r fated to be friends forever.

WHY ...???!!!

*till now, fallin in love w him was de best thing ever happened in my life*

*U'd left me but u didnt lve my heart*

*bcoz of that, I'm nt ready 4 a new love*