1st Month

omg, time really running away ya. it make me scared ;) its like we cant afford to lag though for a min or we'll left behind. january has come 2 and end, its de last day of de mth today and dats mean prof & myself has been back to school for almost a month as well. let me do some simple review what had happened/progressed/etc ...

as for me, school werks are piling up, waiting for their turn 2 b completed. well, I already landed my hand & operate my brain on few of them but seriously, its nt easy to finish and de works just keep coming in.
time management is very important at dis crucial period. I tell myself to double, no, triple, de efforts in order nt to miss any deadlines.
I'm fully aware that taking psychology is never easy, haha, and I think I need a psychology now! lol :) but mama, lil prof, besties & mr.lover (though we r nt back to normal just yet) have been v supportive. I'm grateful of that, lovely peeps. all of u r loved :)

lets move on 2 dat lil brat, he is NOT making any progress but he is gettin worsen! ya, i'm serious. i'm frustrated so does Mama but we will NEVER show our dissapointment to him coz we want to motivate him 2 study. we want him 2 c our determination in making him a better learner and hopefully he'l realise that he must work hard.
i dont mind if he wanna play but not till he forgets his study, but dats wat happening now :( its nt easy to get him to sit still and read a book, or even just to finish his sch werks. i'm nt goin 2 engage any tutor for him coz I believe what I'm giving him now is sufficient enough and mr.lover is guiding him too.
his new class teacher is a lady, nt bad, cooperative and she understands prof's inability. she is giving him an extra lesson once a week aft sch hours.
well, maybe I just feel its hard 2 admit he is a late bloomer. u know peeps, I found it hard coz its always me n him, so I didnt face any probs when I was at his age but he does so I just cnt accept. call me cruel but every sis wants the best for her bro!

i guess dats all for now, will be back soon!

"acting is a form of confusion"

*SIGH*

what i hate most in a relationshp is when my partner hide some things/facts which are important for us to share & well-informed. and what make it more painful when I found out from other source and nt frm de man himself. its nt that I'm cruel or un-forgiving, it just that I want him to know that he cant mess easily with me. he is a strict disciplinarian so am I.

I really look serious in sincerity bcoz since I was a lil kid, Mama & Papa taught me de value of honesty and it is de best policy.

I fully admit that de truth is yet to be known. de actual story is yet to be revealed. I stil wanna hear from his own mouth, though I'm sure it gonna be painful but I'm willing & prepared 2 accept it coz its better to knw de truth.

de man himself is prepared too to tell frm A-Z to me but why must it be now? not long time ago when we just started dating. I can accept u, no matter what as I firmly believe that everybody deserve a 2nd chance and no 1 is perfect. enough when he is near perfect in my eyes. yesterday is ur history and I have no right to interfere but it will be v much better if u tell me.

I love u, LH. I love u so much. ur presence has changed a lots & u'd done a lots as well. ur determination, sacrifices & willingness are incomparable.

I'm hurt now, and angry. I prefer to cool myself down, all by myself. I dont want any interruption.

dont worry love, I'm nt goin to make a harsh decision coz never once u create any probs since de 1st day we met. u deserve another chance but I hope u'll appreciate it.

for de meantime, let me have my own time.

with God's will, everythg will be fine soon.

may Allah guide us in dis matter.

" de most precious things in speech are pauses "

Depressions

I DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MYSELF, MY LIFE. MY EMOTIONS CRACKING AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING NEGATIVELY AS WELL.
AM I PARANOID? I DONT KNOW. U GUYS DECIDE.
I'M UNABLE 2 LEAD MY LIFE PROPERLY, IT IS LIKE IDLING FOR FEW DAYS NOW. I KNOW IT IS UNHEALTHY AND I CANT GO ON LIKE DIS.

OH ALLAH, PLS HELP ME.

I'L BE BACK SOON.


" ACTING IS A FORM OF CONFUSION "

Wounded Lions

Lions lost in Tehran, 0-6. dat was a huge defeat. well, I'm nt goin 2 say anythg regarding dis match but a thing 4 sure, I'd enough with few of de Lions. once again, we r nt short of talents. it is just up to Raddy whether to open his eyes or otherwise.
its ok to be blind-eyed bcoz it is a normal disability but when u r blind-hearted, u need a special check-up be4 it worsen. :)

I was out with my dearest boyfie & besties on de match day. it was our 1st meet-up since de new yr countdown @Tg.Pinang. well, since de new yr kicked off, all of us have been busy with our own commitments and seriously, we didnt have de chance to meet earlier. beside boyfie whom I see on regular basis, only Wak Achan who is also my classmate & Luth who is always willingly drop-by my place to make sure me, mama & prof are doing well, that I managed to meet.
de others (Hen, Mickey, Aida, Hen's sis)'s schedules were totally against mine so lucky us, all of us managed to get a date & lepak together, though for only few hrs.
few hrs mean a lot to us who treasure our frenships dearly. few hrs were used fully to catch-up with each other's life.
be4 we parted way 2 our own destinations, we initially planned for a trip 2 de beach during de long hols of CNY but too bad that Luth & Aida have 2 work during that period so we postponed it to a later date (yet to finalise). it gonna be a bbq (overnight) outing! Insya Allah.

dats all for now I guess, nthg much 2 b said so wait 4 my nx post!
take care all :)

" our greatest glory is nt in nvr failing but in rising whnver we fall "

New Sem

Monday = 11am - 3pm (lucky class starts a lil late or else, I gonna have big trouble weekly).
Tues = 5pm - 7pm (shortest day in school but to go out in de evening for class is really memalaskan!)
Wed = 4pm - 7pm (another evening class)
Thurs = 9.30am - 1pm & 4.30pm - 7pm (long break in between de 2-classes *sigh*)
Fri = 9.30am - 12.30pm (and de weekend kick-off after dat)

well dats is my time-table for de new semester of school! not that cruel but the timing is nt that ideal as well. 3 straight days of classes till 7pm will not help as no football games for me on these days(boredom strucked) but boyfie will b able 2 fetch me from school as he is alreafy free frm teaching by dat time so we gonna have some great time together beside de weekends (not all available though). I have a very long-break on thurs but to go home during de break is simply a waste of time upon realising de "oh-so-near" destination btween my house & school. so basically will spend de time with my bestie-cum-classmate; Wak Achan, who is always loyal by my side during de weekdays. thurs is a busy day for boyfie so he cant catch-up with me during my break. its ok, dear :)

as for de meantime, school works have been piling-up and lucky me, I have started doing it. time to focus & 'flirt' with de notes/books. no rooms to slack around or else, I'll invite trouble(s) & lesser times for leisure.
boyfie always reminded me that its nt easy 2 b easy, get it? :)
learning has never been a smooth-sailing journey. big waves/tides are always waiting for u. but de main thing is, how u overcome them. 1 wrong step could cost u a lot so be careful.
ur hopes will live up with great determinations.

dats all for now, stay tuned for my next post.

Mediacorp

earlier dis week on monday, went to de Mediacorp (Radio Gate) to collect my cheque that I won frm S-League man-of-the-match contest. haha, big money peeps, $500! haha, but I already have de plan on what 2 use de money for. TV licence, school books and buying bracelet for Mama. well, alhamdulillah, rezeki murah :)

and now, I just came bck frm Mediacorp as well! went there for a charity event hosted by TAA called Sinaran Hati Emas. it was seriously an xciting show esp with many gr8 artistes performed. Taufik Batisah, Syed Azmir, etc.
stayed a while after de show to catch up with few special peeps be4 heading 4 supper.
oh yeah, went there with Mama, Prof, LH, aunt & cousins!

dats all I guess, will b back soon!
I need rest, badly :)

Msia League

de 1st weekend of '09 is here but I'm nt going anywhere. decided to stay home coz I'm nt feeling well so let me spend some quality time with my family.
nthg much interesting at home xcept for entertaining lil prof's nonsense and played games with him, helpin mama with de house chores & yeah, cooked spaghetti by myself. and it turned out well ;) haha, tu feedback from lil prof (he is always my judge).

hmm, I'm xcitedly looking 4wd to tonight, its de kick-off de new season of Msia league. best nyeeerrr. dah lama seh tunggu! de live match 2night will feature Kedah-Selangor. I'm hoping for Selangor's victory :)
xcited waiting for de outcome of de match between Kelantan & KL Plus but i think de match gonna be postponed coz kat Kelantan tgh banjir besar. at de stadium area pulak heavy rain so de pitch very lecak!

season has started so dats mean we gonna plan our routine charlie-chaplin trip to catch some of de matches, yg dekat2 aje la :) I'm so frustrated for not bein able to go to KL on tues,6th Jan, for de match between MyTeam & Kelantan.
SHOUT OUT LOUD TO SHASHA: PLS UPDATE ME DE SCORE!
dont ask me which team/state I gonna support dis year coz I'm yet to decide. I think better not to chhose any 1 of them and just come for de matches that involved any teams as much as I can.

KJ (Kelantan), Wak Tong & Boted (Selangor), Emeen (Kedah), Adney & Faizal (MyTeam), Abg Zamani (KL Plus) and de list goes on. so I already stated 4 teams, and I'm nt done yet, jadi mcm mana nak pilih kan. so senang, tak payah pilih k ;) lol.

nthg much to be said so I'll end here. I'll be back soon peeps :)

" glory is fleeting but obscurity is forever "

Back To School

prof is back from school. looking so fresh :) he got a female form/class teacher :) and he said that he is nt used to it coz last yr, LH taught him almost all de subjects and he was de form teacher too. but dis yr, most of de subjects will b teach by de female teacher while LH will only teach him Music & Art along with his CCA. so lil boy, u must get urself use to it. jgn jadikan alasan hah ;)
he start school at 7.30am daily except for thrusday and get off at 1.30pm.
thursday he'll start sch a lil late, at 9.30 and end at 11.30 (just 2-hrs seh, cepat giler) but he'll continue with his CCA at 12pm to 2pm.
every monday & wed, after sch at 2.30, he'll attend religious class while on tues & thurs, he'll have his tuition class WITH ME at 4.30.
haha, I already plan his time-table and I hope, he'll follow & obey and stop slacking.

LH is 1 happy boy, eh salah, man, coz he still teach my lil prof. and he is teaching in de morning so by 3 or 4pm, he'll be already free frm duty ;) banyakkan masa dia, unlike last yr. but a thing for sure that he told me, he is still adjusting his sleeping pattern and he is still having tough times to wake up early (his mum told me that too).
well, ape taknye, almost 1 and half months cuti, he was like an owl (just like me too).

and yeah, I MUST LEARN TO SLEEP EARLY TOO COZ CLASS IS STARTING SOON. and there are few morning classes. I tried but yet to pass. LMAO.

I'll end here la, gonna have my lunch with Mama & Lil prof.
stay tuned for de nx post. take care all.....

" de chapter of accidents is de longest chapter in de book "

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL, MAY ALL OF US HAVE A BLISSFUL & JOYOUS YEAR IN 2009. LETS PRAY FOR DE WORLD PEACE TOGETHER :)

yayyy! I'm back home frm a short trip @Tg.Pinang. what a lovely trip it was. I had lotsa fun & xcitement there. seriously, my beloved boys (LH, Luth, Hen, Mickey, Wak Achan) became monkeys there whom PASSED their test to amuse me & Aida. we partied all out, in our very own way, gerek tauuu! :)
played games, sing-a-long and de most sweetest part was when LH sang while strumming de guitar (which he bought at de mall there). Mickey sang a song too for Aida. sungguh de sweet and romantic dotcom :) lol.

2008 had closed it's chapter. I went thru lots of up n down thruout de yr. there were bad moments but Alhamdulillah, all thanks to Allah,after all de tests he gave me, he rewarded me with many gd moments in return. of all, de best gift frm HIM was LH, de man who was by my side duirng my hard times esp after loosing my way in love and till now, de man is still by my side. a wise man whose patience lvl truly amazed me. though i dont dare to say that he will be with me till de end, I'm hoping for it. but for now, I just take a step fwd at a time. Insya Allah, with God's will, and if there is love, it'll find its way. Ameen.

de 'kelakar-seram' story of 2008 is, when this 1 mad gal, accused me of stealing bro.smiley frm her. I was like, WTH? there is nthg special goin on between me & him, come on la, I TRULY REGARD HIM LIKE MY OWN BROTHER, GET IT? ADE FAHAM? if u want him, u may have him BUT de main thing is, does he want u? I doubt so and another thg, my brother deserved a better & respectful lady.

so 2009 is here, opening a new chapter, I'm hoping for a good, wonderful & blissful year ahead. seriously, I wanna change to a better person :) and nt forgetting, a wiser young lady & increase my patience level. de latter is de most important!!! I dont make resolution coz I seldom fulfil it which made me looked like a sore bummer! so I bertekad to change myself and hope I'll b able to do so. oh ya, I wanna b a filial lover to my mr.teacher LH :)

alryte, I'm still tired actually, so gonna have some rest and spend time with beloved Mama & Lil prof. well, national school has re-opened and dats mean my tuition class is starting again. aduhh, I'll b kind of bz so lesser updates I guess.

dats all for now, I'll be back soon :)

" that out of sight is out of mind is true of most we leave behind "