good kick-off

I'm in school now, having my long-break be4 de next class start. hehe .. my day started pretty early today where my 1st lesson started at 8.30 and ended at 10.30. next lesson will start at 12 so i have time to blog since I got nthg else better to do. and I'm sitting infront of 1 my retard bestie, Hassan Sugiarto, or affectionately known as Wak Achan by me & others. he is doing de last mins touch-up on his assingment which I just checked for ;) mcm mana nye pandai aku ni, haha.

woke up on time dis morning, half hour early to b exact and Mama was surprised, as usual. maklum la this only daughter of her always has a big problem to wake up for morning class. LOL. I feel very refreshed this morning, went to school with a wide smile on my face. smiled to almost everyone I bumped into at school. this is how I am when I'm in gd mood.
woahaha, maybe it is all due to de call I received frm Mr.Dolphin last night. pretty surprised coz he would sms usually. he asked bout my well-bein & bout Mama n Prof too. just a short, sweet & simple conversation but I was so happy coz at least, I was on his mind.
after almost 3-yrs, I will meet him in few hrs time (or should I say a date). nthg special about de 'date', just wanna pass me my birthday gift, that wat he said so as usual, I hate to turn people down so I guess there is nthg wrong to meet him, right? ;)

well, de just ended-leson was doing well, great, though that old lecturer was like merepek gitu. I dont know why he always trying to make works difficults for us. NVM Sir, I'm able to cope, still. it is like a challenge so de more complicated it is, de stronger my determination will be to complete de task.
anyway, Mama is slightly happy with few 'changes' that I made and she is hoping all that will last long coz I'm 'FAMOUS' with 'setengah jalan' thingy. haha! I know I'd dissapoint her on many occasions but still, she believe I can b a better person. only time will tell. thanks Mama.

lil update on my lil prof, *sob sob* he is having hard times to cope with his study. not much improvement even after half-a-year in pri.1. I'm worried for his slow progress.
I'm doing my best to make him a better learner, so does Mr.teacher-LH. but as for now, all our efforts are yet to bear fruit. it is stressfull sein my own lil bro struggling where myself, never encounter all that.
Mama always remind me that not everyone is born with great mind/ability. she said that I might be de smartest in de family but Lil Prof has his own abilities/talents to cover up for his weaknesses in academic. like he can dance & play football well. I agreed. yeah it is a fact that he can do both activities with excellence. and I'm confident he can be a gd soccer player 1-day, in GOALKEEPING ;) he has more interest in that positon though his fav person play in more attacking role.
so different people come with different ability. I admit that I'm hoping too much frm him which I knw wont bring any good but more harm on him, based on de situation he is in now.
I'll lower my expectation, a promise.

a lil more on Mr.Dolphin, Mama wilb be so happy whenever hearing bout him. they are close, damn close till at times, I feel Mama loves him more thn me. those who know me & family well, will agree for sure.
Mama is still hoping that I'l go back to him but Mama, please know that it is de hardest thing to be done & I dont think it'll ever happen. stop hoping coz both of us hate to dissapoint u but we know it is ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to fulfil ur wish though we didnt rule it out fully.
what matter most to us after de break-up 3-yrs ago was, to get along well. so we are glad that we managed to put all de old stories behind and became good fren, till NOW.
he is so special in Mama's eyes and she repeatedly claimed that only Bestie Luthfie & Mr.teacher-LH can match Mr.Dolphin. DUHHHHH!
and thats why I still think that falling in love with him was de best thing that ever happened in my life so far. but seriously, having him as a lover. I felt secured. with all those tender touch, higs, kisses & protection. and thats why de memories' flame still burning even after 3-yrs de love boat destroyed, I guess.
I'd 2 other relationships after that but both, FAILED. though nt fully, but I admit that my hope of wanting a new lover just like him played part in de failure coz, that was too much of hope. and after de recent failure just a couple of months ago, I realised that I'm nt ready to commit to any new relationship just yet despite de thoughts many people have that LH is de new man in my life. I dont deny nor agree. :)

and yeah, thank u LH for de helps, just again. ur guidance really help me lots and my learning journey is smoother with u around. and thanks too for ur never-ending efforts that u put in to help Lil Prof.
when ur mum told me that I'm important in ur life, it was hard 2 believe at first. but as days passed, I started to feel de same as well. I wont dare to give any hope coz I hate 2 dissapoint just like how I hate to be dissapointed when I'm hoping. so we just wait & see where it'll go frm here. if we are mean to be together, love will find its way.

I shall end here, dah panjang sgt my entry .. will be back soon :)

*Mama, what about a teacher for ur teacher-to-be-daughter? sounds great, kan? LOL. I'd enough of sportsmen actually after 3 failed relationship, and it hurts. so, Mama? weeeee*